New Year, New You: 2012 Edition

Is it that time already! It feels like just yesterday I was writing this , I barely even realized December is here and that means the year is coming to an end once again.

I started thinking to myself, “Uh-oh I need a New Years Resolution”, and then in that same moment I thought “wait, do people even have resolutions anymore or is that so 80’s?” Haha. The point is, people after a couple of years of forgetting ALL about their resolutions by February stop making them year after year. I get that, but as a person who is always trying to evolve and grow (and shouldn’t we all?), I love a good excuse to make some positive declarations and changes. It’s also a great way to celebrate what you HAVE accomplished in the past year. Maybe you didn’t go to the gym five times a week like you were so gung ho to do January 1^st, but you certainly made some strides in other areas that you maybe didn’t even realize. It would be a great idea to reflect on those accomplishments this month and reward yourself, even if it’s a simple mental pat on the bag. Acknowledge yourself; it’s the best way to ensure more success in the future.

I haven’t prayed and meditated completely on what my official New Year’s Resolutions are going to be but one thing came up for me just as a casual thought about it and kind of took my by surprise. When I asked myself (and God) what do I need to work on this next coming year, I heard:

Be seen.

What? What does that even mean? But then I realized, it’s so relevant. This may sound strange to some, but I realize a lot in my life right now I hide and try my best not to be seen. Now my Ego/Rational/Logical Mind says it’s probably because you live in a foreign country where the men can be over the top with the cat calling and your obligated to talk to your neighbors for at least 30 minutes if you pass by them. These things are a 100% TRUE. However, I think it’s gotten out of hand. I don’t go run on the beach (which was a dream of mine I totally manifested) because I don’t want the men to bother me, when really they are used to me now AND I could put on headphones if I REALLY wanted to go run. If and when I don’t have time to stop and talk to my neighbors I do feel guilty (and we know how far guilt takes us…) however when I have some speed in my step and I give a big warm wave and greeting, that is also sufficient and does not warrant me hiding out at times when I should be out and about.

It has also manifested in my demeanor, I find I hold my shoulders slumped over and I’m now even experience back pain. Are you kidding me! See how far this has gone? Subconsciously, I’m saying, I’m small, don’t see me, don’t bother me. Well I know that anyone that looks like that is a Target for anyone looking to bother someone, so why not straighten up and look like the girl you Don’t want to mess with! Lastly, blogging, guest blogging, writing and sharing all things creative, are things I have NOT been doing even though I have been asked to or know I want to do, just in the name of “not being seen”. I have so many writings that I think of everyday for this blog, but then I think, “oh you’ll sound preachy”, or “that is just silly”, or “that is too syrupy sweet and no one is gonna wanna read that”. Well the Truth is that it’s MY blog! I write what I want. Don’t like it? Don’t read it. Simple. If I KNOW that, why do hesistate? Why if someone asks me to contribute to their website I all of a sudden get shy?

Be Seen.

Two words, but they have a huge impact on my life right now. I have to break out of it. I have told myself once I go back to the USA I’ll be more in my element, but the truth is a) things like Writing have nothing to do with where I am geographically. b) Anytime you start a statement with “I’ll start tomorrow” you might as well hang it up now, because you’re head is in the wrong spot.

Man, I didn’t even know how much I felt and knew about this issue in my life until right now! I almost didn’t write this post because I was thinking I should have something organized, but in the spirit of just going for it I sat down and wrote, and I’m glad I did. I now have a clearer understanding of where I am and what I need to work on.

What have you found stirring in your Spirit as something that has GOT to change in this coming year?