Fitness Confession

So it's stupid o'clock in the morning, and I'm awake because I pretty much laid around all day and now have woken up in the middle of the night. Argh! Sure today was going to be a Harry Potter-a-thon Day. My first day to just rest and chill and clean up the house. Instead it was taken to new levels of laziness and turned into, in bed all day, eating a quiche I made in the morning, then sunflower seeds all day and then a late night bowl of lentils and beans. There were some jellybeans and chocolate covered almonds in there somewhere too.


What's my point? My point is that I actually have a Fitness Confession to make. It turns out maybe in the past few months I've been feeling like I need to get healthy and into shape. The quick run down of THAT feeling goes a little something like this: Went to the States in January ATE like there was no tomorrow and LOVED it, then every month since then I have continued to eat the same way saying, well I just got back and so I'll get back "on it" soon. Well in JUNE I was like, "girl you didn't just get back that was half a year ago!". That was kind of my first wake up call. Also, when I got in the mood to make a vision board THIS is what came to be...a subconscious desire to be fit, healthy and active.

The feelings that came up when it was time to put my Health Vision Board on the wall were actually feelings of guilt and hesitation.

I am super "I Am Woman, Here Me Roar" in my beliefs. I know that we are all beautiful in our individual packages, I know that I am beautiful inside and out and I abhor these images and messages that we get from the media so much it makes me want to pull my hair out. I haven't owned a TV for YEARS for that specific reason and I just can't enjoy a magazine because the message that "you're not good enough" is so blatant... especially, in my opinion, against women!

SO as of late, being with my sweetie, who loves movies, I have been taking in way more visual media than normal and I wondered did that have something to do with my "motivation". I mean, if I am know that I am perfectly made in God's image why would I want to change? There is no perfect ideal, so what am I striving for?

One thing I have noticed is when I sit, I slouch and when I straighten up, it takes a conscious and physical effort to stay erect. I literally feel like I can't hold my body up! That means I def need to get my core stronger. Also, going up stairs, running after the bus and feeling winded is something new for me! All of these warning signs and more is what set the alarm off for me, that I need to get fit and strong again.

The thing about me and "working out" is that I don't do it. I just happen to be an active person, so my lifestyle and activities would lend themselves to me moving around. I went to dance class, yoga class, hiked, would ride my bike to work etc. Never have I been a skinny minny, and really never have I been super buff, but also I have never really been that concerned with my body like that. Like on FB when people post old pics, I'm like MAN I was kinda chubby in that pic and others I'm like man I was fit! I am never conscious of it at the time and I don't really mind the fluctuations, which is all the more reason why I'm so not used to actually being Aware of my body concerns.

So here I am wanting to get fit and kinda lost at how. Food. My fav thing. I am sure has to change. I was enjoying all the natural fruits and veggies of Ecuador, but then I sent a request for Cheezits, Goldfish, chocolate covered everything and more fav junk food from the States and my sweetie totally brought them so the apartment right now is like Willy Wonkas (oh I should have taken a picture of my shelf when we first unpacked everything!) I tell myself that once it's gone, I will go back to healthy eating, the thing is, I don't monitor at.all. what goes in my mouth and here, there is fried everything, ice cream all the time my thought is always "hey what's one ice cream sandwich!!?".

The other thing is activities. I am trying to get into running, but with the Machismo men here it's hard. A gringa running around just for fun is really asking for it, but I know it's a great way to get in shape. I also could do workouts at home, but that sounds Soooo boring and I get bored quick. What I need is an activity that just gets me up and moving. I am hoping to work out with the girl's soccer team the two days a week I am free to, and maybe just suck it up and run in the mornings and put in headphones to block out the whistles, hoots, and hisses from my admirers :0/, I am also actively looking for a surf instructor, I think THAT could be life changing!

The main obstacle I have to battle is the voice in my head that says "why are you doing this anyway, you're fine, no go lay down and take some jelly beans with you!" I need a new mantra, and a new healthy outlook so I can get on the path to my own Personal Best.

Any suggestions from my health gurus, workout gurus, and foodies out there!!?? (or anyone really!)

Peace, Love & Cheezits!!...I mean, Carrots :o)

(picture from FB that I saw and thought...huh, I was kinda fit then...I was hiking a lot then...)