Shock Report Premier

I've been working a lot on my Spiritual Practices. Like, praying, meditating and moving through my daily life as a Spiritually Aware Being. You hear the talks, you get amped up, you feel free and then you go on doing what you've been doing (and getting the same unsatisfactory results). So My focus for 2010 is really to get into a REAL practice. Carve out that time daily to ask the right questions, really stick with my affirmations and always honor my anointment appointment everyday to spend time with the Infinite.

What I've been reading and hearing all over the place is when you really have a Breakthrough or experience a Transformation it's a Shocking experience! If it doesn't shock or surprise you then you probably didn't move to a new level. This is what I have read...we shall see how true I find this to be in my life. Hence the Shock Report that I will be reporting on from time to time. Hopefully others will be compelled to share there reports as well.

Today I again heard a message about the shocking effects Transformation has on an individual and I experienced that today. I had been having an extremely challenging week and I told myself if this one project I have been working on is well received it will make it Aaaaalll worth it. So to say I was very much attached to the outcome would be a major understatement :). The big day comes and NADA, nothing, zilch. No one was impressed, no one gave my project the time of day, I was actually CriticizeD instead of praised!

I had already played out in my head, exactly HOW I was going flip out, How much and to what degree, the words I was going to say if things didn't go my way. I played out the scene just in case I needed to do a dress rehearsal. Have you ever done that in your life? Do we all realize how Insane that is? Playing out a drama that may not even occur. Or in my case, actually Preparing to Flip Out! I think that is probably one definition of Madness.

Surely if I was going to take the time to hold an Intention or have some Forethought, it should be of Peace and Understanding. That thought entered my mind as I played out my award winning melt down but I was like a) my project is going to be well received b) if not they are going to know JUST how hard I worked on this and HOW upset I am that it's not being acknowledged.

Well not only did the worst case scenario happen, there were a ton of other things that happened that day that pushed me to my limit. But I had been affirming and meditating on inner peace and a Shocking thing happened that day...

I didn't flip out

I didn't storm off

I didn't go off on anyone or give them a piece of my (already rehearsed) mind

I didn't cry...I almost tried to because I felt thats how I should react and the people would know at least I cared...but the tears weren't there...

My Ego tried to cry and go off on the people I was dealing with, but my Authentic Self was talking to me too...narrating the scene in absolute Truth and nothing was as my Ego was saying it was...

I felt split down the middle... I was hearing, seeing, feeling both sides....I chose the Authentic Self and it felt good.

I was really shocked for several reasons

1) It feels kind of nuts having two distinct conversations going on within you

2) It felt even crazy to "hear" how crazy the Ego's ideas and justifications were. Usually that's the ONLY voice we hear, so it doesn't seem so loco, but with the Higher Self giving a different perspective one can see that the Ego is out.of.control!

3) I thought I was going to know I took the "higher road" but was going to feel empty and bored due to lack of drama...the whole wanting to feel anything...even hurt...just to feel SOMETHING...

4) I'm not excited about seeing how else my Higher Self is going to show up. I might finally be moving on the path of quieting my Ego self. Before I was scared and I'm really shocked and surprised at my enthusiasm.

So that's my long rant and shock report. Stay tuned for more and please share your stories as well!

The best has yet to come,

SunshineBuilder,

P.S. Have NO clue what an Ego Self is? Please run don't walk to the nearest bookstore (virtual or physical) and pick up Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth... I'm sure in one of these posts one of us will do a review of this remarkable book!